When Secrets Are Revealed
"Three things cannot long stay hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth." — Buddha
Cleaning out my cluttered garage makes me very happy. Not only does it feel good to unload things that are unnecessarily filling our space but it gives me a chance to look through old photographs, letters from long ago, and childhood momentos. In the process of tossing out and organizing afresh you sometimes find things you never expect, items that can shed light on buried secrets.
Better Late Than Never
As many of you know, I am a Late Discovery Adoptee who, five years ago, learned I was adopted after taking a DNA test for fun. Not only did I discover that my parents and beloved siblings weren’t related to me by blood but also my huge extended family knew the secret and had kept it hidden for decades. Saying this was a shock doesn’t adequately describe the distress my psyche experienced when my identity crumbled. Of course, as an author, the best way for me to process this fracture was to write a book - Junkyard Girl!
For the next year, I interviewed family members and followed every clue until I unearthed the truth surrounding my adoption. I’m not someone who carries regret but not being able to have a conversation with my deceased parents, hearing the truth from their own lips, or learning how they felt about how I came to be theirs, is perhaps the closest I’ve ever come to the tug of regret.
As I sorted through a lifetime of forgotten keepsakes in my garage, I found a plastic container filled with memories—faded photo albums, a Pablo Picasso beret my father wore as he aged, and a harmonica my mother played with from time to time. As I dug deeper, a tiny piece of paper floated onto the cement floor; a yellow strip of newspaper hidden within old letters my mother had kept in her bedside bureau. I thought the clipping was trash and was about to toss it when I saw it was a poem with the title—To an Adopted Child.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn’t grow under my heart
But in it.
– Fleur Conkling Heyliger
A Message from Beyond
I sat in the middle of my garage, staring at that tiny strip of yellow news press for what seemed like an eternity but was probably just a few minutes. Grace sat beside me, ears flicking, ever alert to my shifting mood. When she was alive, my mother was not a good communicator. I often think if she had told me at a young age that I was adopted, she would’ve said, “Carlyn, you are adopted. Let’s never speak of it again.” Harsh? Maybe, but that was her way. A woman from a different generation, a hard-working and proud immigrant who strengthened herself against life’s hardships by not showing emotion.
My mother isn’t here to have the conversation I long for, but a little strip of yellow news clipping is. There have been many synchronistic moments on this unexpected journey of self-discovery, instances where my parents communicate with me in ways that they could not while they were alive. This poem is part of that gift, a way to keep my mother’s memory living in my heart; an insight into what she may have felt for me - her adopted child.
We never know when a secret may be revealed and how it may affect our lives. Fortunately, I have a strong safety net of family, a supportive partner, and my rescue dog, Grace, who doesn’t seem to mind that, like her, I am a rescue too.
Stay healthy and stay pawsitive,
Carlyn MDO 💜
Wait! There’s more…
Conscious manifestation is a practice I live by. For years, I've worked hard to achieve my dreams, not realizing that focused intention, clearing self-limiting beliefs, and maintaining a positive attitude were keys to success.
So, when Cherilyn Shelly told me she was hosting an interview series centered on this topic, and invited me to be a speaker, I leapt at the chance.
Mama Bears Manifest is a FREE masterclass series for anyone who wants to break through barriers and manifest healing and abundance in every area of life—whether physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, or financial.
From October 2-4, 2024, fifteen leaders (including me!) will share strategies for consciously manifesting their dreams. These interviews are genuine, brief, and impactful conversations that contain valuable insights to support you in creating the life you’ve always desired.