Want a Stronger Bond? Try This 30-Day Relationship Reboot
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” — Thomas Merton
After twenty-three years of marriage, my husband, Ken, and I have spent plenty of time together.
But no matter how much you love someone or how happy you are, every relationship benefits from a little boost now and then—just like the one Ken and I experienced.
A Simple Ritual For Two
It all began with an inspiring phone call from my stepson, Greg, who shared insights from his personal development journey with Ken. After their talk, I noticed a shift in Ken—he was seeing the world differently, with more of a beginner’s mind, as though he was experiencing things for the first time. He began noticing the texture of fallen bark, the patterns in the sky. That’s when I hopped onboard and suggested we do something similar for thirty days—together.
It began by paying attention—taking stock of and appreciating the many things we once took for granted. Every night, we checked in and shared something we had noticed. At the end of our conversation, we’d add one thing that had improved our day. It might be observing an unusual cloud formation on a hike, trying out a new yoga move, or being mindful of a thought or feeling we might have otherwise ignored.
Over time, these little check-ins—sharing our truths and truly listening to each other—brought rewards we didn’t expect. Ken, now focused on bringing more play into his everyday life, feels more joyful and calls our practice a life-changer.
One of my biggest takeaways has been a greater sense of freedom. Although I’ve always prioritized my personal and spiritual growth, I hadn’t realized some of the unconscious ways I was holding myself back from being fully alive. Letting things go when I needed to speak up, assuming others were judging me (when they weren’t), and the strive for perfection, were just a few self-limiting beliefs I uncovered. Observing my thoughts gently, honestly, and without self-reproach feels like shedding shackles I hadn’t realized I was dragging.
Both Ken and I agree that doing just one thing differently every day—walking down a new trail, calling an old friend, stepping out of our comfort zones—adds a dash of spice to our lives. By tuning into this mindful space and sharing our reflections, we’ve become more supportive of each other, better friends, and, like Ken, my joy factor is sky-high.
Our Relationship Guru
Every night, when we meet for our Relationship Rendezvous, we aren’t alone. Our dog Grace hops onto the bed and plops down between us. During our talk, we massage her chest, rub her paws, and laugh – a lot. Grace’s silly expressions and vocalizations lighten our spirits, allowing us to be more vulnerable with each other. Five years ago, Grace was a fearful rescue dog in need of a second chance. But the more love we give her, the more she thrives. And so do we.
Are You Up for the 30-Day Relationship Reboot?
Want to deepen your connection with your partner this Valentine’s Day? What’s one small thing you could start doing today to bring you closer? Boxes of chocolate and greeting cards only last so long.
How about stoking the flames by committing to thirty days of mindful connection—sharing just one thing each day that improved your life? If you can get your dog or cat to take part in this powerful experience—even better!
Are you in?
Stay Healthy & Stay Pawsitive,
Carlyn MDO 💜
PS: If this story inspired you, share it with someone you love! I’d love to hear how you nurture your relationships with your BFFs. And if you’re new, please subscribe so you never miss a post filled with stories, inspiration, and a little bit of pawsitivity.🐾
Looking for the Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift? Treat your favorite animal lover to a heartwarming read that celebrates the magic of the human-animal bond! 🐾📚
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